Defensive Driving Blog

Car Humor for a Defensive Driver

DOWN IN THE DUMPS? A LITTLE CAR HUMOR WILL HELP!

It is amazing how many sites there are on the internet for car jokes. While I was perusing all they had to offer I thought a few of them might be worth sharing. Every now and then when I come across good ones I will post them here on our blog.

defensive driving humor.

Today’s selection is as follows:

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’

‘NO’, the young lady yelled back, ‘IT’s A SCARF!’

Julie was driving a people carrier full of ten screaming kids through the high street looking for a space. Too frazzled to effectively pay attention, she coasted right through a stop sign.

A man in a passing car leaned out of his window and yelled, “Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?”

Julie out of her window and yelled back, “What makes you think these kids are all mine?”

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.

“Can I see your license and registration, bub?”, the cop inquired.

“But officer,” the fellow started, “I can explain…”

“Shut yer trap, bub!” snapped the officer. “You’re going downtown and sit a while till the sarge gets back.”

“But, officer, I think you really should know…”

“And I said to shut yer trap! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
“Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” shot back the sap in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the…”
“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”.
Farmer Joe said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say.”
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. “Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
“Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.’
“Then he said, ‘How are YOU feeling?’”

 

Remember that sometimes humor can be found in even the most serious of situations. And if you find yourself in need of defensive driving log on to WirelessDefensiveDriving.com.

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